ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
