do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
