Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
