did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
where are my eyebrows?
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