just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
