I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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