oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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