apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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