i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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