Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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