wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
