you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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