It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Less talking, more tequila
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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