You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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