He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
