I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I feel like death gave me a hand job
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize