My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
the condom got lost in my hair
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You've changed since you got that strap on
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
