Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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