i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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