my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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