Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
