pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
