So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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