But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
