That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Randomize
