Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
