Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
