i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
should my penis look like a turkey
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize