I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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