We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize