I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
