i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
