Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
