hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
