I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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