i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I lost the right to judge tonight
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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