we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
