Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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