No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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