READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize