so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
