Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Shame is for Republicans.
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