I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Randomize
