omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Randomize
