I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
