If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Sorry about my life...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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