a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
