you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Randomize