'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
