Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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