4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
