Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
