Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
