I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
