Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
