can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
