i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
